SCP-261

inserts 700 yen and tpyes in 073

lord-korean

Dispenses an empty bottle, seeming to be a previously discarded Dasini water bottle.

Upon opening, a translucent gas shoots out, sprinkling yellow glitter-like flakes.

D-Class man ordered for taste testing, claimed a citrusy taste, but was disgruntled with how gassy it left him.

The bottle had re-capped itself for possible re-use.

*puts in $1.17 an puts in code 343*

askjetyozuma

Vended two 6-inch by 4-inch “ediboots!!”

As the name suggested, the boots were, in fact, edible.

Tasted reportedly of stale meat and mayonnaise. Not the most pleasant.

inserts play money and hammers the keypad with a mallet

meesturfroggy

Dispenses one packet of [REDACTED]-brand chewing gum.

Gum ceases to unstick from teeth of subject, ordinary methods unsuccessful.

Eventually resorting to extreme-heat reactors did the trick, but also destroyed all subject’s teeth and severely damaged the lower jaw or subject.

inserts 10 gold coins and then headbutts the keypad

locdood

Dispenses 1” brown rock.

Upon analyzing, [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED].

Disposed of.

Insert well used but still in good state bill worth twenty pesos (Argentinean coin), enter code 735

panur

Dispensed two bright blue bottles of FireSpritEEE!! soda-pop.

Opened in blasting chamber due to violent nature of name.

Contained a mixture of Sprite-brand soda and common diesel fuel, used mainly for buses.

Discarded.

*puts in a 20p coin and keys in the number 173*

askrobo-ky

Dispenses two British flag lollipops, no labeling other than an orange price sticker reading “0.50p”. Tied to stick at base of candy with twist-tie.

Upon sucking, D-class reported a “minty blueberry” taste.

D-class then proceeded to sing the British national anthem [EXPUNGED] times, lasting [EXPUNGED] minutes at [EXPUNGED] decibles.

Metal clamp required to shut the D-class up.

/inserts an unidentifiable coin and presses the entire keypad with its foot

keter-scp-682

Dispenses empty box.

Made of ordinary cardboard.

“Maybe this comes from a dimension where disappointment is what they eat.” -D-Class 3536

-Plonks 2 quarters in and inputs the number 324-

parab0lacharge

Dispenses 8oz. can of generic Pepsi-brand Cola.

Nothing noted other than user experiencing regular caffeine effects.

*Inserts 25 bits*

askstarbuck

Dispenses sixteen “Dots” candy strips.

Upon inspection, they [DATA EXPUNGED].

Destroyed immediately, six D-class terminated.

-david puts in 25 cents and selects the numbers 495, nervous at what might come out-

nervousitalian

Vended one round, pink object, no labeling or packaging of any sort.

Upon biting into it, subject realized it was gum.

In the middle of the ball appeared to be two small paper-like tabs, akin to modern-day LSD blotters.

Subject ordered to eat blotters. Request granted.

Subject experienced regular acid trip, exclaiming four hours into it, “That was the best [EXPLETIVE] piece of gum we’ve ever heaten!” [literal transcription]